Family systems

 Do you have a good family life? I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about this question. I recently learned about family systems. I really like this quote, “It is like a game of billiards. When you shoot the cue ball into a cluster of other balls it scatters them in various direction; some more than others. In other words, the action of one member affects everyone else in that family system”. It’s important to see the family as a team, you have to work together. In order to be successful, you have to play your part. Each family member has their own responsibilities to work together. For example, in a typical family; the dad provides for the family while working, the mom takes care of the house and children. It’s also very important for the home to be emotionally stable. The environment needs to be healthy and happy. In order to do so, the parents need to set an example. Kids feed off of others, they will act as they see. I liked this quote, “If there is respect, tolerance, attentive listening and grace extended on a regular basis, especially during conflict, then the emotional system of a family will develop healthily”. It’s crucial for everyone to have a close bond with each other, ideally, it makes life more comfortable. I have a lot of friends who don’t have close relationships with their parents, which leads to a bad family system. My family had to work on ours by bonding with each other more. We would do things like weekly game nights. We were all very competitive so sometimes it didn’t work out that well. In a lot of families, there is always one kid that feels left out. Most of the time it was the middle child, I know you’ve heard the term “forgotten child”. I related to that for a long time in my life, to get out of it I just had to be more social. For a lot of my childhood, I stayed in my room and kept to myself. As I got older, one of my brother’s friends didn’t know I existed. Which hit me, made me realize I needed to make a change. Once I started to form a stronger relationship with my family, our family system got stronger. I always felt closer with my siblings because we were closer in age and just bonded with them more. So when I got in arguments with my parents, I could always go to one of my siblings for emotional support. An important concept to have in the family is boundaries. Without them, the family won’t be able to run smoothly. I know families aren’t the easiest sometimes. We all have our differences and disagreements. It’s our job to always try our best to keep the family together. After all, family is forever.